An SNL 'All Drug Olympics?' Not quite. But these Enhanced Games are no joke
LAS VEGAS (AP) — The first, best and most hilarious rendition of the “All Drug Olympics” came courtesy of “Saturday Night Live. " It was 1988 when Soviet weightlifter “Sergei Akmudov,” geeked up on anabolic steroids, Nyquil and “some sort of fish paralyzer,” tried to clean and jerk 1,500 pounds — three times the existing world record — only to have his arms snap off at the shoulders. Blood and gore gushed from where his arms used to be.
Laughter cascaded as the on-site reporter, Kevin Nealon, threw it back to Dennis Miller in the studio. It took almost 40 years, but finally, the event that tackles that age-old bar question, “What would happen if we just let them all take drugs? ” has arrived.
“The Enhanced Games,” featuring 50 athletes who have been free to use performance enhancers of their choice and will compete in track, swimming and, yes, weightlifting, is set for Sunday in Las Vegas. Is it just a bad joke? Depends on who you ask.
“A big success for us would be the athletes being healthy, safe, better paid and happier than they’ve ever been before,” said Max Martin, the CEO and co-founder of Enhanced. Mainstream sports ignoring Enhanced — they're not the only ones The Associated Press spoke with a handful of leaders in the Olympic and anti-doping world, most of whom would not agree to speak on the record, even to denigrate the Enhanced Games, lest they lend oxygen to an idea they largely portrayed as a cynical money grab for washed-up athletes. Benjamin Cohen, director general of the International Testing Agency that spearheads testing for the Olympics along with dozens of individual sports, was among those who would comment.
“I’ve heard some people calling it the ‘Doping Olympics,’ but even using the word ‘Olympics’ (is a stretch)," Cohen said. “At the end of the day, it’s a one-day event, it’s 2,000 people eating popcorn and there’s a music concert. It’s (50) athletes.
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