Your Seattle Mariners hot takes, ranked and rated

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON - APRIL 19: Randy Arozarena #56 of the Seattle Mariners celebrates his two run home run with Julio Rodríguez #44 during the fifth inning against the Texas Rangers at T-Mobile Park on April 19, 2026 in Seattle, Washington. (Photo by Steph Chambers/Getty Images) | Getty Images Last week, I dropped a request in the FEED for all y’all’s hottest Mariners takes and you definitely served up some HEAT. Here is a handy ranking system: Blake Beaven = 1 star – a fine yet fairly tepid take Chris Bosio = 2 stars – workmanlike, solid, but not earth-shattering Hisashi Iwakuma = 3 stars – an above replacement level hot take, boundary-pushing but not absurd Matt Brash = 4 stars – a very hot and BRASH take, will upset people, will get the people going Cliff Lee = 5 stars – nuclear, scorched earth-level take Okay, let’s see what we’ve got here.

We’ll start tepid and work our way up. Poster Donguelard says: “People give Randy Arozarena way too much shit for for how productive he is. Rating: Blake Beaven I mean, I obviously agree with this.

Randy is a good ballplayer. He definitely turns it up and turns it down as the situation requires. He is not a 100% hustle up the line every time player.

He’s conserving his ammo for when he needs it, and as a 42-year-old who still tries to play sports, I respect that. He’s a couple hot streaks away or flashy catches away from being everyone’s favorite player again. Randy gonna Randy.