Mariners Invoke the Ancient, Bully Astros 9-6
the astros, in the pursuit of efficiency, prepared their lunch money pre-counted and on a silver platter
Apr 10, 2026; Seattle, Washington, USA; Seattle Mariners left fielder Randy Arozarena (56) hits a two-run home run against the Houston Astros during the fifth inning at T-Mobile Park. Mandatory Credit: Joe Nicholson-Imagn Images | Joe Nicholson-Imagn Images There’s an impenetrable, opaque blackness to this space. Devoid of the primary sense that humans rely on to orient themselves, you try to parse what information you can through your secondary inputs.
Unfortunately, other senses provides no more insight. It is so painfully, crushingly loud here that you can’t be sure of the source of the noise, can’t be sure of anything other than the fact that your eardrums are on the verge of rupturing. Or is it instead that this place is so silent that you’re being deafened by the unyielding cycle of your blood frantically THUD, THUD, THUD ing its way through your blood vessels?
After an eternity of this, you finally hear it. You were told what you should expect, but there isn’t any meaningful way to prepare yourself for how the velvety, telltale chuckle emerges from the void below you, starting at your age-appropriate New Balances, winding its way up your aging frame, slinking up into your ears before arriving at its destination. His laugh and his voice finds easy purchase in your brain.
“Oh, well, isn’t this just sublime? You’re clever enough to know that you’re just my type, aren’t you? ” In this moment, you remember being a boy when your Paw taught you about viper’s fangs, how they’re hollow and hinged, a perfectly-designed poison delivery system.
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