9-9-9, closer entrances, and making Fetch happen

Mar 28, 2026; San Diego, California, USA; San Diego Padres relief pitcher Mason Miller (22) throws a pitch during the ninth inning against the Detroit Tigers at Petco Park. Mandatory Credit: David Frerker-Imagn Images | David Frerker-Imagn Images A couple things have induced dread in me in baseball’s first week. There have been major wins — the Yankee pitching staff is fantastic!

ABS is a lot of fun! — but some cringey losses. The first is the corporatization of the 9-9-9 task, a Twitter meme that challenges fans to consume nine hot dogs and nine beers across the length of a nine-inning game.

We at SB Nation cannot condone irresponsible drinking but it is a meme that’s not that hard to find across various social platforms. Of course MLB teams can’t endorse irresponsible drinking either, and are in many jurisdictions legally capped on how many standard drinks they can sell at one time or in certain time frames. The logical endpoint to this is that teams can’t advertise that they want you to drink nine full-sized beers over the course of what may be a two and a half hour game, ergo, we get a cheap facsimile like what the San Francisco Giants had to offer Opening Weekend.

Nine hot dogs that are better described as “hot dogs with slider characteristics” and a single 24-oz beer with nine flight glasses. They appear to be about 4 oz. glasses, although flights in general range from 2-6.