The Giants are so back (derogatory)

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - MARCH 25: Logan Webb #62 of the San Francisco Giants leaves the field after delivering his 1,000th career strikeout in the fourth inning during the game between the New York Yankees and the San Francisco Giants at Oracle Park on Wednesday, March 25, 2026 in San Francisco, California. (Photo by Lachlan Cunningham/MLB Photos via Getty Images) | MLB Photos via Getty Images At long, long, long last, baseball returned on Wednesday. The San Francisco Giants took the field, the fans poured through the gates, and the kayaks flooded the cove.

For the first time in 178 days, Giants baseball was back. But seriously, you couldn’t have waited 179 days? We had to do this today?

Apparently. And so the Giants returned to your screen and Aaron Judge struck out four times for the first time since 2024, and other than that, the evening was a gigantic, awful, no-good mess. The game was a fiasco from the get-go, and it started before it even started.

The Netflix baseball era began with an All-Star display of solipsistic streaming. It seemed the company’s lone goal was to convince you to sign up for a service that you already had to be signed up for to see said streaming, creating a capitalism ouroboros, with baseball nowhere to be found. Somehow, despite the day supposedly being about celebrating the return of America’s pasttime, we were forced to confront three of the people I least want to listen to when watching baseball: Bert Kreischer, Jameis Winston, and Rob Manfred.