Red Devils Clash in Raging FA Cup Final—Get Your Euro Fever on!
Rule No 1: It’s best not to dither in front of Chelsea’s Lauren James. That’s putting it too politely, so let’s try again: Don’t dither in front of Lauren James. Now add in a seven-letter word starting with the letter after E in the alphabet, tag on a photograph of Manchester United defender Dominique Janssen splayed on the floor, another of goalkeeper Phallon Tullis-Joyce in a similar heap, and a third of Chelsea lifting yet another trophy that doesn’t belong to United.
Then nail it to the insi
Rule No 1: It’s best not to dither in front of Chelsea’s Lauren James. That’s putting it too politely, so let’s try again: Don’t dither in front of Lauren James. Now add in a seven-letter word starting with the letter after E in the alphabet, tag on a photograph of Manchester United defender Dominique Janssen splayed on the floor, another of goalkeeper Phallon Tullis-Joyce in a similar heap, and a third of Chelsea lifting yet another trophy that doesn’t belong to United.
Then nail it to the inside of United’s dressing room. The team bus. Turn it into a lettered friendship bracelet: D(F)DIFOLJ.
Of course, Sunday’s 2-0 League Cup final defeat to Chelsea is bigger than just James and a record that now reads six goals against United in all competitions for Chelsea, her most against any opposition. James is just a metaphor, the face of United’s greater torment: Chelsea and the big occasion. It is now 16 defeats from 19 meetings for United, a third successive loss in a final after succumbing in the 2023 and 2025 FA Cup finals.
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